hey bud, if all it takes is to wave lasagna in front of you, I bet mine will out do the lady,s in Denver, and I make a Chocolate cake from scratch! you and Paul are invited any time! My door is always open to friends.maybe you should have a lasagna and chocolate cake bake off,lol. I promise you, you walk away from MY table hungry, it,s your own fault! KEEP ROCKIN GUYS! Sue from Ohio

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Hey Gene,

I was at an ASTROS game the other day at the minute maid park in Houston, TX, and they had an ASTROS player to take a survey on the big screen. They had asked him to answer the first thing that came to his mind. And the question was "Metallica or KISS" he picked Metallica but the entire stadium was saying nasty remarks and he got boo just because he pick Metallica instead of KISS !!!!!! i boo his ASS also. I wish I could go to the KISS concert when yall come to town, but I'm a full time student and have no money what's so ever!! will you be making any appearances here in Houston. If so I would like to know. I'm a KISS fan for life! or is there any way you would have some type of contest on "what would you do for KISS tickets?" I "ll do anything!!!!!!ANYTHING!!!

Victor Cervantes
Houston, TX

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Hey Gene,

I just wanted to say that like everyone else, I am quite excited for your ASSHOLE record to drop. I can't wait to hear your version of "Firestarter";my sorority sisters and I used to really dig Prodigy when we were in college. While that is a really cool song, I have to say, that if you REALLY wanted to be an asshole, you would have also done a version of "Smack My Bitch Up" too. Oh well, guess none of us can be perfect assholes; but I know you're really trying! Keep it going, babe!

I'll be seeing you at the VA Beach concert this summer, if no hurricanes come to ruin it this time. Of coarse, I would like to also attend an "Asshole" party, like so many others, but since you're so good a being one, I KNOW I won't get an invite. That's ok...while I'm trying hard to become an asshole like you, but first and foremost I'm trying to concentrate on working on my "inner bitch." I think I really need to take that step before I can upgrade to asshole. If I ever get a chance to meet you, I'll show you how that work is coming along.

Thanks for keeping it real!

Love ya,
Arna
Hampton, VA

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Hey Gene,

I stumbled across this 'relic' and wanted to share it with you for old times sake! Straight off of the cover of his 1982 release "Throwin' Down"


, it's Rick James bitch! *hmmm, on second thought, maybe he thought he ain't really all that without YOUR bass! lol. Go figure. Thought you'd enjoy it. *I'm fairly certain that he didn't spit the blood that we see on it here. This is too classic not to share!

Steve/ KISS ARMY

Response from Gene:

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The Lost Chapter of Genesis

...Here is the LOST CHAPTER IN GENESIS....

So God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?"

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.

God said, "This person will gather food for you, cook for you, and when you discover clothing she'll wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need "it".

Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"

God replied, "An arm and a leg."

Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"

The rest is history...

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Hello Gene,

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HEY GENE,

THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE THIS, I KNOW I DID.

SEE YOU ON TOUR

CHRISTO PANTELIS
COOBER PEDY, AUSTRALIA



The Boys rules

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules:-


1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
4. Shopping is NOT a sport!. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
5. Crying is blackmail.!!!
6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

11. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
12. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

13. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself
14. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
15. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
16. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Lilac is a flower. We have no idea what mauve is.

17. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
18. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
19. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
20. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
21. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars.
22. You have enough clothes.
23. You have too many shoes.
24. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

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The Tight Skirt

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight mini skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step. Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.

About this time, a largeTexan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."

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GOD OF THUNDER,

Just wondering if you are going to have an Asshole party near the Nashville, TN area & if so how can I attend?? I have been fortunate enough to meet you twice, and the last time I met you in Nashville at Borders Bookstore my best friend & I had our picture taken w/ you during that time I said to you that we wanted to make you a the meat in our sandwich, and you said "Now that's what I'm talking about" & I said me too! Invite me to one of your parties & I will show how just how big of an asshole I can be, and maybe my best friend & I can finally find out what a "Gene Simmons" sandwich really tastes like!!!!! Chew on that for awhile!!! XOXOXOX MICHELLE

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Hi! Gene you sexy man you!

I'm your favorite butcher babe. I emailed you a while back. Thanks for going on tour again. I'm going to attend the hershey stadium concert with some girl friends of mine. I hope I can get back stage to see you and give you a big wet frech kiss. I'm very good at those!! I'm getting all tanned up and will be looking mighty fine. I also like to hold your cock piece in my hands and touch you all over. I don't have the money for the back stage passes but I was hoping I could get back there with you. With all my love and sexuality Ellen your butcher babe.
Ellen